"Respect for Others"
Part 1
By Ray Wiley

Teaching Hints from Ray:

1. I get very good feedback and results with young people using this one. Each lesson takes about 40 minutes.

2.  After showing the scenes from The Wonder Years, I try to lead the students into recognizing the connection between the lack of respect the father is shown at the office and the lack of respect the father shows Kevin at home. But often the kids are way ahead of me here. They will comment on this before I ever get there. It's great to see this!

3. When assigning separate groups to brainstorm on ways we show respect verses ways we show disrespect they usually want to be assigned to the disrespect team because they realize this is the easier task. And the results usually confirm this. The disrespect team almost always comes up with more items than the other team. It is a great lead in to make the point that being respectful is something that we really have to work on because unfortunately it often does not come easily for us.

On making it personal: Think of times in your own life when showing respect for others paid off. Think of times when you failed to show respect that hurt you. Think of times when others either showed respect or disrespect to you and how it impacted you. Now replace Ray's personal illustrations with your own. Your students want to know how respect has impacted your life. This is your opportunity to leave your legacy!

1. Ice breaker (You might have this video taped):  Divide into two teams. Give each a Guesstures card with four objects (worth 2 or 4 pts each) to act out in two minutes. (If you don't have Guesstures, you could simply play Charades, giving them a card with a person, animal or object to silently act out, trying to get their team to guess.) Then hand out an additional card, saying that it's a character trait. The word could be either "respect" or "disrespect" or "honor," (worth 10 points) in one minute. The team with the most points wins.

2. Video clip: Wonder Years – Episode 3, "My Fathers Office." This episode vividly demonstrates 1. Dad’s lack of respect for his son while trying to talk to him. 2. Dad's boss showing lack respect for dad.

3. Discussion:

1. What created the problems in the video?
2. What character trait was lacking here that contributed to the problem? (Respect)

4. Definition: How would you define respect? (Put elements on the board and come up with a working definition, such as: "To treat with proper honor, courtesy or dignity."

5. Discussion: Exploring our feelings.

1. How do you think Kevin and his father felt when showed lack of respect?
2. How does it make you feel when you are shown a lack of respect? Do you have an example?
3. How do you feel when you are treated with respect? Do you have an example?

6. Brainstorm challenge:

Divide into groups. Assign a recorder for each group. Have one group list ways of showing respect, the other list ways of showing disrespect. Give 5 minutes. The group that comes up with the most ways wins. Have a prize for the winners. (Note: If the disrespect group comes out on top use this as illustration of how much harder we have to work at being respectful.)

Discuss appropriate items from the list, starting with the disrespect list and moving to the respect list.

7. Personal Life Story: The time I showed disrespect to Coach by sneaking out of the room and how that made me feel afterwards. (Put your own life story illustration here.)

8. Brainstorm: What are benefits of being respectful to others? (List them on the board.)

Transition: We easily see the very positive reasons for being respectful, but it often takes work or commitment. For most of us, it doesn't come naturally. So maybe some practice would help….

9. Life Application: Let's each select a person that we've have not been especially respectful to. This week, let's go out of our way to show respect for this person, but not too conspicuously. Report back next week on your experience. If for no other reason do it as a challenge to see what kind of reaction you get!

10. Personal Life Story: The time I resolved to make a difference/break the cycle of disrespect with a person I met in Pennsylvania. You can do the same. I challenge you to be the person who makes the positive change. Tell us about it next week. (Put your own life story illustration here.)